“Sleep-talking” by Zach (Saratoga Springs, Utah)

Early in our marriage, my wife and I discovered that we were both sleep-talkers. One night I awoke to a strange noise that I couldn’t quite figure out. It was a consistent, flat hum. The kind a kid makes when they are pretending to be a race car. As I became more conscience, I realized that the sound was coming from my wife.“Baby,” I said, “what are you doing?” “I’m on a mint green moped.” she replied. Although she spoke very clearly, I could tell she was not awake. The hum, which I now recognized as her mimicking the sound of an engine, continued. Flat, consistent, unchanging. “Baby,” I asked again, “what are you doing on a moped?”

“I’m in a race!” (More flat humming)

“Well, are you winning?”

“No! They’re getting away,” (Flat hum)

“Try shifting gears!”

At this suggestion, she immediately changed the hum, as though she finally found second gear, then third, then fourth. At some point she must have crossed the finish line because the humming faded away, and I faded back into sleep. The next morning, she remembered the entire race, but not a word of the conversation.