“That’s Not A Tree!” by Ray (Spanish Fork, Utah)

When we moved to Indiana we were renting while our home was being built. We would often visit the construction site. We did not have a bathroom there yet, so being a good dad I taught my boys to relieve themselves as needed, behind trees. The only problem was when my youngest boy peed on the back of the baseball field’s backstop in front of the whole crowd during a live game. Yup, right in front of most of the new small town we were just barely getting acquainted with. I swiftly ran down, pulled his pants up, and then promptly brought him back to the stands, explaining, “hasn’t anyone taught you where the bathroom is?” I handed him to his mother stating very clearly, “hey woman, here’s your kid.” And then, to uproarious laughter, I walked to the other end of the bleachers.