“High Level Marketing” by Chad Robert Parker

Editor’s Example:

Dangling from 70 feet in the air and keenly aware of terminal velocity, I questioned once again if this was the right job for me.

After a 9 month search for the perfect position, I took a job at the ground level to work my way up. So there I was posting advertisements high above Salt Lake City’s skyline. I was lucky enough to get a job in Marketing, but you see hanging from billboards was not exactly the exposure I had in mind.

Winter is the worse season, but hot summers aren’t much better. I learned about momma bird season (they protect their nest and make quite a mess to work through) and wasp season (I was averaging two bites a day and often running perilously across the board swatting at the air).

I was told it was only a matter of time before injury. I was told one had fallen from a height of 35, or so, feet, broke both ankles and never walked the same again. I myself had nearly electrically charged a board and all its occupants. I prayed that I would not fall victim.

On this occasion I was working on one of the 40% of bad boards that were falling apart. Despite signing a contract that I would tie off 100% of the time—so my boss could appease OSHA—I found myself facing an exception that had to be made. An angle iron fell loose and I hung on for the ride. In order to swing to the side platform I was going to need to unhook my lifeline tethering me to the broken board and keeping me just out of reach of tying off to safety ahead. Well, I lived to tell the tale and worked another year in that job.