“Grocery Getter” by Chad Robert Parker

One morning I woke up to find my car was missing. It appeared that the culprit had to be a Mountain Dew drinker as the only thing that remained in my parking spot was a crushed green can and a mess of soda spray. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I thought about knocking on all my neighbor’s doors at 7am that morning to see if anyone had seen anything. I remembered one of my neighbors could very well be carrying a vendetta if he suspected me at all of making the phone call to the cops regarding his raucous domestic dispute with his wife. He had splattered a Mountain Dew slushy against my door that night, after all. Just about the moment I decided I better call 911, I realized where my car was.

I often had walked those few blocks to the grocery store and back, if I had just a couple items to grab. Only it was raining the night before and now I suddenly remembered I drove to the grocery store on this occasion. Yes, that’s right, I walked back without my car and didn’t even remember it until I was in panic mode the next morning. I was only slightly late to work. My boss let me off with a good laugh over the excuse.