“Water Fights or War Games” By Chad Robert Parker

Public pools are cesspools. Even worse they are often no fun. Watching 30 kids wade shoulder to shoulder in a 10 x 15 foot condo pool yesterday reminded me why I never even liked a packed hotel pool on vacation as a kid. Forget about the sanitation trucks parked outside the city pool multiple times every year. In fact, Giardia doesn’t deter most. Besides the germs with the apropos sign announcing that there should be no “p” in this “ool,” I simply don’t care for standing room only in a puddle of water. Where is the “swimming” in a swimming pool like that?

With that in mind I set out to join my cousin at the city park pool. My mom urged me to get out of the house and go have fun. She knows I would only like the pool if it was rented out for a smaller private party, so I’m sure she wasn’t surprised when we never made it there. I know, it sounds a little prissy. But really, this was about war.

As we were walking to the park we saw a line of determined red ants attempting to cross the street. A car would pass and disperse the troops and then they would gather again and continue their march. We wondered where they were going with such urgency. Up ahead we found some black ant hills. They never suspected what was coming.

We had to stick around to watch. The red ants suffered most of their casualties from cars. They stormed the ant hills and were killing five black ants to every one red ant. At least that was the ratio on the outside. When they burst forth from their conquest with eggs in hands and only black queen ants in pursuit I assume they had a similar rate of success on the inside.

I was amazed at how interesting it was. I think a couple hours passed by. Before I knew it my brothers were back from their trip to the pool. At any rate, it was the best experience I had going to the public pool.