“Hip Sliding Away” By Chad Robert Parker

As kids we used to put a tarp at the bottom of the waterslide to pool all the water. It made for a fun splash zone. I’m a big chicken so I don’t have much experience with real waterpark slides. I’ve heard of block party slides that cities are setting up along roadways. The best waterslide I have been on was a makeshift slide of three 30×10 foot billboard vinyls attached together.

We formed trains of people running one after the other and grabbing ankles for a slick ride. We raced. We surfed as far as possible and tried to catch a football on the way down.

I had a bad hip from popping it out of place in a recent indoor soccer game. I must have been about 28 years old and I was thinking there was no way I was going to sit this event out like an old man. After a few times down I tried┬ásliding on my feet and quickly crashed down on my bad hip. I was writhing in pain all the way down the slide. Then someone at the side of the slide grabbed my ankle and sent me spinning. I slid across the grass holding my hip. A mass of humanity followed and piled on top of me where I was unable to get up out of the way. I stuck around to watch others but I didn’t go down the slide again that day. It was hard enough just walking up the hill. I felt like an old man, after all.