“Finicky Food,” By Chad Robert Parker

My family loves food with few exceptions. Lots of kids don’t like vegetables. I noticed that at school or when I babysat. My mom followed special diets when she looked after other’s kids on a regular basis. But no kid was as fussy as one little boy who stayed with us one day. I have never seen anything like it before or since.

He refused to eat anything but mayonnaise sandwiches. I had never even heard of such a thing. Who can live off of bread with a thin layer of mayonnaise spread in between? I was told that he would not eat anything else. I can still remember in my mind’s eye this thin bony-framed eight year old boy with his high pitched raspy voice kindly, politely even, refusing to eat anything but mayonnaise sandwiches. I remember how he rationalize it as the only healthy option for him. He was quite well-spoken and intelligible for his age. I remember him folding his arms, and frowning, before his silent fit turned into a more vocal protest. We all tried to convince him but he just would not eat unless we fed him what his parents confirmed over the phone was the only thing he would eat. I suppose you could say I didn’t give mayonnaise sandwiches a fair chance having never really tried it myself, so how could I expect this boy to eat what I eat, but it’s not like you can’t imagine what bread and mayonnaise alone would be like–severely lacking sustenance.

To this day I wonder if he changed his mind about his diet and has ever tried some real foods. I wonder if I will see him on one of these crazy eating disorder shows. I watched an episode where a lady claims she only eats and lives off of french fries after all.┬áDon’t ask me how that is sustainable. It would sure make deciding what to eat for meal preparation easier though.